'It's extremely poor etiquette': Woman's buffet behavior causes stuck-up friend to call her 'disgustingly low class'

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    Cheezburger Image 10385740800
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    AITA for my behaviour at a buffet?
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    Hi everyone, I (28F) recently reconnected with a friend (27F) from high school. Let's name her "Brenna". We were really close (like, think inseparable) but the distance after we moved away inevitably caused our friendship to dwindle. I recently moved to her city with my husband and it was like nothing had changed. After a few 1 on 1 lunches, she wanted to introduce me to some of her other friends from uni. We decided on an upscale buffet at a hotel.
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    I think it's relevant to include that the university she went to was known for its extremely wealthy and privileged students. Coming from an upper-middle class background, I wasn't really sure what to expect or what we'd have to connect on, but she assured me it'd be okay and that everyone was really "down to earth."
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    I got along with everyone really well. The conversations were engaging and we all bounced off of each other really nicely with the banter. She booked it on a Monday afternoon so it'd be (relatively) less crowded, so none of us would have trouble communicating. But here is where I think everything went
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    wrong: There was a short queue behind me (3 people, all in our party, one of whom included Brenna) while I was trying to scoop a stew for myself. It was a minestrone and I had accidentally grabbed a scoopful of vegetables instead of soup. So on my second scoop, I decided to
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    do the opposite so that I could get a balance of both (my first scoop hardly contained any soup). I stopped after two scoops and turned to see Brenna staring at me with an appalled expression. I was really puzzled but I kept on walking back to our table so I wasn't blocking anyone's way, and I figured I should ask her about it later.
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    The rest of the lunch, I noticed Brenna acting really strange. She was limiting her interactions with me, avoiding eye contact with me, etc. Another friend (28M) even asked her about this and she dismissed the question (she said "I don't know what you're talking about").
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    After we all said goodbye, I got a series of texts from Brenna saying how disgustingly "low class" I acted in front of her friends. I asked her what she meant and she referred to how I selectively scooped the minestrone in front of her and how "it's extremely poor etiquette to pick and choose
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    portions at a buffet." I tried explaining to her it was an accident, and I hadn't intentionally tried to do what she was explaining but she said I was still "holding up the line." I apologized for that and she hasn't responded since.
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    I apologized to the 2 other people that were waiting behind me but they didn't know what I was talking about. I explained to them what Brenna saw and they said she's being a "pompous and told me to forget about it. Now I have no idea what to feel because I initially felt extremely guilty when Brenna confronted me but hearing these 2 say it's no big deal is really making me wonder. I would love some other opinions. Thanks.
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    Emma3190 6 hr. ago • Ooooft, superiority complex much? NTA. It's a buffet not a Michelin star restaurant. And as someone who has a partner that ran a 6 star hotel in Dubai, I can tell you that there is no 'buffet etiquette'. You get what you want and sit down, it's the entire point of being
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    'self serve'. Even if she didn't approve of you mannerisms, her vocabulary is very telling. You can talk to a friend about behaviour without bringing the classes in to it. I'm going to make a somewhat educated guess and assume no one else cared. Your friend went out of her way to find fault and make you feel inferior over a very small scenario. Tell her to stop being a human donut and take her head out of her ass.
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    • paspartuu 4 hr. ago My guess is Brenna is hyper aware of coming from lower, not as rich origins as the rest of her uni friends, and had developed a bit of a complex over "not acting poor"
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    Account Mitosis 3 hr. ago • Yeah, 100%. OP is obviously from the UK and the "old money" culture there is wild, but equally wild are the people who really really want to fit in with old money and go kinda bonkers about it. Aspirations toward poshness can drive people to some pretty odd behavior.
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    • ohnosandpeople 6 hr. ago So....you scooped soup like a poor person. You hear how ridiculous that sounds?? Brenna is a pompous snob- simple as that. NTA
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    Famous_Specialist_44. 6 hr. ago I thought you were going to describe building a food tower of the luxury items...but no you took two scoops of soup. NTA This isn't a buffet etiquette thing, or a social class thing, or a money thing - Brenna is just being silly.
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    BeckaPL 4 hr. ago Ah but you see it was two SPECIFIC scoops of soup! Clearly OP is evil incarnate for wanting balanced soup!
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    AffectionateHand2206 6 hr. ago Picking and choosing specific pieces of food out of a dish would have been bad manners, but that's not what you did. It seems like Brenna has a certain image of you in her head and has (consciously or subconsciously) been waiting for you to confirm it.
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    SarkyMs 6 hr. ago NTA, Brenna has serious imposter syndrome, she doesn't feel good enough for these friends and spends her whole time masking.
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    Ariel_Dubois · 5 hr. ago • I don't get it. This is perfectly normal soup scooping behavior. You didn't take the yolks out of 150 deviled eggs. Brenna's got a screw loose. NTA.

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